For the last few years, I’ve been to doctor appointment upon doctor appointment checking for cancer, taking tests for cancer, briefly taking medicine to make sure I kill whatever I did have. It’s frustrating. It’s confusing. It’s annoying asking for time off week after week after week. I finally get “better” and then I get sick with something.
I now have holes in my tonsils and have this cough that just won’t go away. Today I felt like crap (excuse the language, conservative followers). I’m ranting. I’m tired. Very tired. I have a doctor appointment next week with yet another specialist. My eyes need to get checked within the next couple of weeks and then I’ll need to go to a specialist for that to make sure I don’t have glaucoma since I am at risk at the current moment. After that, they’ll be the yearly blood test awaiting me.
Ranting. That’s what this is. A long rant. Complaints, really. Should I complain about what God has given me? Should I stop and recognize that this is all a part of God’s sovereign plan to help me grow in my faith? Should I stop to see that He is beautiful and what He does is the best for me? Yes, I should. I should stop to look outside myself and see the needs of the people around me. Running around like a head cut off a chicken today helped distract me from my aches and pains. Now I’m home, preparing myself mentally for what is to come tonight (which is more wedding planning for my childhood best friend who, by the way, was hired on today as my new receptionist/assistant).
It’s time for me to stop and pray. Goodbye for now.