Oops. I made a huge mistake tonight. I fell hard. I knew it was wrong, and I fell hard. I can’t do anything but pray that the conversation I had with him one day touches him and helps him reach out to the God that saves. “No one is good, no not one.” There is truth to the Bible that needs to be seen and I probably ruined it for him forever. How far did I make him walk away from that? “Pray to your God for this pain to go away.”-H. That’s not how it works. There needs to be consequences, and not only for him but also for me.
There are so many things that I wish I would’ve done differently but I’m left here alone in my present state. What can I do to change this? Nothing. How can I keep him around? You can’t. What is best for him? To be away from me I guess…not I guess. I wish not I guess.
I can’t think of all this right now. It’s too much. My braining is swimming in a never ending whirlpool. I’m signing off.