The feelings inside me jumble and create confusion. I want to, but I also don’t. Should I run away to Stanford, leaving behind what I have here in my career, church family, and friends? Impossible. I can’t leave my nephew who is being born within the next few weeks. How could I even think such things? To be shunned from my family forever for running away….why would I want that? Would I ever be welcomed back? Just thoughts before I hit the hay.