Last night I followed the moonlight to the beach. It was around midnight, and I had so many things on my mind. I couldn’t just go home from my best friend’s house and go to bed. I had an urge to go out and just drive. I drove along the coast for an hour and really evaluated my life and where it is right now. Truly, I thought that I would be in a different place. I kept thinking in my head, When will this phase be over?
I thought about all the people that were out at that time, going to the bars in Laguna Beach, Dana Point, etc. I wondered, How many of the people in these extravagant houses are just as miserable as the next guy? I then thought, How could you want to leave this town? and then quickly realized I’m sure there are thousands that just want to escape. This town is their nightmare. This town, that many people call one of the top vacationing places in the world, is the same town that is a nightmare for many. I thought for a minute outside myself and tried to put myself in these people’s shoes. Really, is this the way to live? Following the moonlight brought me to a shore of emptiness. The sea continued on, the waves kept crashing, the sea life still thrived.
Once I realized what I needed to do, I came home and sat on my bed for another hour. I thought some more about the people, my place in this world, and how I desperately needed that time to think and drive. The only one that brings me life and lets me start over is God. Today, I will share another one of John Mark McMillan’s new songs, Death in Reverse.