Despite the physical pain I was experiencing today, I still went to Women’s Bible Study to not only hear the first message on 1 Samuel, but to also start something new. I unintentionally signed up for Tech Ministry, originally there just to sign up my coworker who offered to help since our church was in such a desperate need. What a way to serve! Not only do I get to come early to hear worship, but I also get to help. Not sure yet if it’s my place, but I’m sure God will make it clear if it’s not.
Looming over my head is the need that they have on the worship team but I don’t want to make a heavy commitment to being on stage singing. It’s much easier to make a commitment being behind a closed door of a tech room where no one will see you. I feel a heaviness when I walk in the auditorium doors and see the faithful ladies sing because no one else is volunteering. Do I go back to singing on stage? It’s been a very long time since I’ve sung on stage with a worship team. I have great memories of singing up there, watching the many faces worship Jesus, and I have some not so great memories. I sometimes felt since the rest of the worship team knew each other so well, it was challenging to get to know them and be a part of the clique. There was also, of course, the age difference. I could not relate at the time to having grandkids over, or just beginning a family. The dynamic now at church is a little different since the people who sing on stage are single girls my age, but it’s almost more intimidating because of that factor. Women my age don’t mingle naturally if they don’t already previously…LOVE each other. That’s something that I would love to see change, but that requires a two-way street. Both sides need to take an effort.
As I contemplate all these things and the million other thoughts that are currently racing in my head, I pray for God’s timing in all of this. Praying for His will to be done in both my service and in my coworker’s service to the King of kings and Lord of lords.